Philosophy Paper

This was the last assignment I turned in. Not the final paper, I dropped the class. Turns out I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of why I should give a shit if Plato thought my computer has the Form Squareness... In the face of modern science, that's completely ridiculous. I can see why back then it might of made sence to quantify things any way you could, but now, it's not worth the time.

Does the universe have a purpose? Does life have a purpose?

I think that the idea of a purpose is entirely made up. It’s a thing that people made up as we went along to quantify our existence. We realized fairly early on that we weren’t quite like other creatures on the planet. We tried to explain this. We tried to explain events. “Why did that just happen?” “It happened because of this.” “Well what should I do about it?” Human beings have a never ending compulsion to reason. Whether or not the reasoning methods of a particular person make sense isn’t important.

The simple fact of the matter is that the universe just is. Life just is. You can play out a seemingly endless game of cause and effect to ascertain the “the beginning”, or whatever you want to call it. But it doesn’t change the fact that stuff exists. If you were to ask my mother why the universe existed or if life has a purpose she’d say, “To make you ask questions”. Now this devilishly annoying response, which I’ve been getting for nearly a quarter of a century, might be more profound than I had originally allowed for.

I find it extremely difficult to think that an all powerful being or collective of similar inbred beings, see Greek/Roman mythology, would ever get it in their head to create something for us to contemplate endlessly. I can think of a million other things I would rather do with my time than think of ways to confuse other people, or start wars…

What I do appreciate about my mother’s tagline is that it makes more sense than trying to answer the question of “why does it exist”. More interesting to me is the question of, “Why do you care?” I don’t care if a rock exists or why Chinese people used to think foot binding was sexy. Why does it matter? Contemplating questions of the past makes sense. It allows us to evaluate our experience and learn from our mistakes. But wondering why the universe exists doesn’t really make a lot of sense, it’s an unanswerable question. Just as soon as you think you’ve got it, someone else tells you, you don’t, and you’re back to square one. You can’t truly know you have the answer unless everyone is in agreement, but this presents another issue, “does that rock really exist after all?” Since everyone agreeing is as difficult as getting ten people trying to agree on pizza toppings, we’re all going to go hungry.

Dream

I had THE strangest dream last night. Cast includes but is not limited to the following:

Me
Shane
Samuel L Jackson
Tanya
Hayden Panettiere aka Clair Benet
My Mom

There were more people but I think the list so far illistrates the strangeness.

As with most other dreams, I woke up out of this one and it was the world around me that didn't seem real. Unfortunatly, I don't remember the whole thing. What I do remember is the Haden part.

The scene starts off with her as a baby. She's being watched by a babysitter and everything is cool. Scene cuts to the end of the night when the parents come home and the babysitter is gone. Parents freak out, blah, blah, blah. Fast forward. Haden is about 7. We come to find out she's really some sort of freaky alien creature that happens to be an excelent swimmer. She proceeds to run around eating people and somehow always seems to swim away before we catch her. I woke up later in the story when she was the Haden we all know and love. By this time she had "control" over her urge to eat people though. I really wish I could remember more, but this by itself is freaking weird.

TMO

don't ask me what the hell that stands for, because i'm not sure that anyone knows. and if they do, i don't care.

I got my TMO today. My 'puter is up and running with my thump thumps. I'm all giddy about that one. They were the first thing I unpacked. Now all I need is a couple of cables for my other screen. But I'm totally loving having two computers again. So much better. I also got my books and my skates, which I'm taking out tomorrow. OH! and my movies!!! Super stoked about that one. But mainly, I think I'm mostly excited about having music again. I really feel like part of me is missing when I don't have my tunes. And my toy helichopter... Yea, I'm awesome.

Mirrors

I figure that since I went and saw it twice, I should do a post on it. Even though, I'm completely convinced that it's not in theaters back home anymore.

It actually wasn't good enough to see twice, please refer to The Dark Knight in case you're confused on what's good enough. It was an accident. I went with a friend to the movies and she picked the movie, I had honestly forgotten that I'd seen it until the first scene. That's how much of an impression it made.

If you read my post on Midnight Meat Train, you'll know how much I love shitty little horror flicks. This one didn't quite cut it. It wasn't shitty enough to be endearing and it wasn't good enough to wait for on DVD.

Keefer Sutherland plays the main, a formally undercover cop that shot a police officer and gets a job at a burned down department store as a night security guard. Crazy shit starts happening with the mirrors and eventually every reflective object he comes in contact with.

First off, I don't like loose ends. Unless you are making a sequel, they are totally annoying. They never explain what the circumstances were with the shooting. I got all the way to the end of the movie wondering what happened. They write the whole thing off with "it was an accident". That's the only explanation you get. annoying...

The deaths were mediocre at best. Although I'm sure that if I were a ghost in a mirror I probably wouldnt fuck around either. Just get it over with, right? I was dissapointed to see Amy Smart go so quickly, but I guess they had to do something to make Keefer stand out. I think the best one was... Oh wait, there were only two, if you don't count the nun.

Other than that, it wasn't bad or good, it was fairly predictable though. I'm sure you can even get the ending in the first ten minutes if you really think about it. Just another reason for me to get a small popcorn and a large coke. Which is absolutely required.

Still alive

busy busy busy. I haven't posted on here in so long I almost had to type the url into my browser.

I've got some good news though... As you may read, I got Spore in the mail yesterday. *Totally awesome* I've also got almost all the movies I ordered from Amazon. I'm still waiting on The Adventures of Barron Munchausen (phonetic spelling), I'll be sending a nasty gram about that in a minute. Oh, and all my stuff from Germany is going to be getting here on Thursday!!! Maybe I'll get to take my skates out before the weather gets crazy. Lets see if I can post some other stuff too...

Spore Cometh

I feel a bit noobish. It's not like I haven't be salavating with anticipation over this game or anything. I can't believe that I didn't order it as soon as it came out. But it's finally on it's way! Hopefully my computer gets here before the game does. Can you imagine the frustration of having one of the most highly anticipated games ever and no computer? I would be reduced to a childlike state in no time. You could probably find me in a dark corner playing with the box, making little creature sounds, taping on evolutionary advances when I think I've earned enough dna points.

IT'S ALIVE!!1!

I just called HP to check the status on my laptop. The very same laptop that I spent nearly $2000 bucks not 6 months ago. For some mysterious reason, one of the hard drives died on me. So after parting with a month and a half worth of my hard earned wages, waiting two months for it to be built and shipped to Frankfurt, and being without it for nearly two months for the repairs, I've just been informed that it should be shipped back to me by next Monday. Just another two weeks after that and I'll be back online! Assuming of course that the internet at the house gets fixed. As I understand it, it's going to take some serious voodoo to make that work. But we'll see. If there is one thing that Marines are good at, it's getting around problems. I'm not sure how I'd get around simply not having a connection, but I'm sure it's nothing a credit card and some orange juice can't fix. ;)

What to post?

I started this thing with loads of stuff to say. Which aparently peatered out in 5 posts... At the recomendation of my girlfriend, I find myself required to post something or suffer the pain of knowing that people wont read my work when I actually have something to say. The only problem is, I don't have anything to say. I suppose if I were the type that could just talk and talk with nothing to actually contribute, I'd be a politician. But seeing as how I'm not a politician and the fate of my blog hangs in the balance, I had better come up with something. Any ideas?

Red Belt

Red Belt is about a struggleing Ju Jitsu instructor that happens to have the worst possible luck EVER. Hung high with impecible morals and a warrior code that is nothing short of the real deal. He's the type of guy that does everything for the right reasons all of the time. Even when he's getting jumped by two dudes in a bar fight, he finds the time to think clearly and not lose his cool.

I love a good martial arts movie. Watching people defy gravity and keep emergency rooms the center of inner city night life with their bare hands is awesome. That's where this one fell short. From the first scene, you know this guy is a bad ass. But through the whole thing there is only really one good scene. I use the term "good" loosly. The camera was more often than not, too close in and focusing on the faces of the fighters. So as a martial arts movie, great message, but it needs more moves.

Back to the horrible luck. Right after the first scene is when it starts to go down hill. It's one thing after another with this guy and he doesn't seem to get a break. He literaly has to fight his way out of the rut just to pay the bills. The whole thing comes to climax and then conclusion seemingly back to back. "Oh shit, it can't get any worse" *FIGHT SCENE* "Oh shit, it doesn't get better than this"

It could have been a bit longer. Maybe throw in scene of the school doing really well right at the end with the teacher instructing a couple dozen students at once. People like that stuff right? I guess that's what you get when the biggest named actor you have on staff is Tim "the tool man" Taylor.

Raging Bull

I went out last night to this pretty cool little bar and made up a new drink, The Raging Bull.

Throw some Ice in a whiskey glass and fill it half full with the Red Bull
1 shot Rasberry Vodka
1 shot Mailbu
splash of Grenidine

enjoy

Mah tummy goes "gurgle gurgle gurgle"

I'm standing in my box thinking about how hungry I am right now. I know what you are thinking, why don't you get some food. Brilliant idea! It just so happens that I thought of it myself about ten minutes ago. "What did I do about" it you ask? The same thing any man with a plate or curry chicken and wild rice would do, I popped that sucker in the microwave and salavated with anticipation over the delecious aroma that was wafting out of wherever it is that those microwaves leak out so they can kill my sperms. So why the post? I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING FORK! Stuck in the box with wafty deliciousness and no utencils.

Midnight Meat Train

This was it, the movie that inspired me to start this blog and eventually my own website. I suppose that I should be thankful...

First things first, it's not a gay porn as you may have guessed.

It started off with a decent idea for a thriller. Killer hacks up bodies on the last train, takes them to the abandoned stop under the meat packing facility where he works, and takes care of the bodies. Not half bad and to the best of my knowledge it hasn't been done before. Despite the mediocre acting and the forseeable tragic end to the complsive do-gooder photographer main character, I was still pissed off at the various conversations that people thought were more important than my cinematic expierence. Everything took a dramatic turn for the worse with about twenty minutes left. Now bare in mind that the things that I found wrong with the film could have apealed to my sick love affair with shitty little horror flicks if only they hadn't been shoved down my throat so fast that I felt more like a recently violated sheep owned by a farmer that doesn't know that "baa" means no.

You get a little hint of this conspiracy that's been going on for about a centuary. This gets very weakly confirmed by a cop that is wearing the same symbol as the killer. The complsive do-gooder photographer gets his girlfriend involved and his best friend killed when he tries to take on the butcher (Vinnie Jones). I'd like to quote my brother on this, "Vinnie Jones would ruin your shit". This scrawny, underslept, night stalking, fried tofu sucking (not to say anything bad about veggies cause my girl would kill me) took on the butcher in a fight that included classic weapons like a butcher knife *duh* a pretty gnarly looking meat hammer and what apeared to be a broken leg bone. Sad to say, the do-gooder won (please refer to my brothers quote for statistical data on the chances of that happening) with the leg bone through the neck and the butcher knife through the back of the head and out the mouth. Then you find out that the bodies weren't being disposed of at the meat packing facility. They were being eaten by the hundred year old humanoid creatures that the "cult" has been covering for.

Let me say something about monsters, if you are going to show the monster, show the fucking monster! If you aren't, that's fine, but don't leave me with one view of a Hitchcock-style silhouette. It's just wrong. It's kinda like getting a side boob shot when you know damn well you paid for at least a whole tit. Well not really... side boob is sexy.

From there things get worse. The train driver, who you find out earlier is in on the "opperation" comes down and starts doing the classic bad guy reveals the master plan bit. Now I'm thinking that I might get a little happy ending warm and fuzzy right at the very end. Wrong. This driver picks up the do-gooder by the neck and lifts him straight up off the ground and rips out his tongue with his bare hand. The do-gooder sits there gurgling through the drivers worthless one note solo and then watches the as his girl gets fileted. cough cough pussy cough... I don't know about you, tongue or no tongue, I'm going to try to save my girl. She might leave me later cause I can't do that thing she likes anymore, but at least I tried.

Lastly, the driver reveals that the do-gooder has to stop taking nakie photos of celebs for The Enquirer cause he's gotta be the new butcher. AND HE FUCKING DOES IT!!! Just like that, new butcher. And worse yet, they left it open wider than a donkey show performer after the third act for a damn sequel. Last couple scenes you see num nuts putting on the SAME UGLY FRICKEN SUIT that the last tonguelss bastard was wearing...

The End *crosses fingers and prays there isn't a sequal*

First post

So here it is, The first of hopefully many rants, raves, and movie critiques that may or may not give you insight to the way I perceive the world. Please enjoy and comment on whatever you like. Try to keep it clean, my grandmother might read this.

peace