Miss California...

What a "dumb bitch".

Notice the quotes. I didn't say it, celebrity blogger Perez Hilton did. But this girl is doing laps in a pool of bullshit that I despise about the known world.

Lets start with pageants. What a load of fucking crap! Miss California my ass! I didn't vote for her. Where was my ballot or the broadcast debates? You're telling me that a panel of elitist fashion Nazis are deciding who is going to represent as the gold standard in beauty and sophistication for the state of California? Screw that noise. I love how they get asked meaningful questions. What happened to the standard "world peace" answer? You know, the whole smile, nod, stay pretty, say "world peace" and then get the fuck back in line whilst trying to not slip in the puddle of carrot sticks you puked up from breakfast.

Stance on "opposite marriage". Where do I even start with this one? The blatant disrespect she's displayed for other people's opinions on stage in front of millions of people, or the fact that she's opposing it at all? Saying, "with all due respect" is a slap in the fucking face to anyone it's directed towards. You're from California, damn it! You and all you "Vote Yes on 8" fuckers need to chill the fuck out. They all swear like their lives are going to change. A marriage is between two people, unless you're Mormon. If it's between two dudes, it's not going to cheapen the bond between all those breeder couples. Yea, I said, "breeder". I figure while people are throwing around derogatory terms, I may as well toss in some of my own. Last time I checked, "as long as lesbians can't file a joint tax return" didn't follow, "until death do you part". It's not like you're going to stop anything. Dudes have been rear ending other dudes for a long long time. And if I have anything to say about it, girls are going to get to keep on doing what they do too. Not just because it's hot* but because it's the way it should be.

One last small note on her "integrity as a woman". She's currently under investigation for not disclosing topless pictures she took as part of her modeling portfolio when she was 17. She made it all the way to this stage in the competition and now they are just coming out. I feel the same way about this as I do about Bill Clinton not telling the truth about getting down, though I wouldn't want to tell anyone about it either. I don't care that you did it, I care that you lied. Now I'm not the patron saint of integrity by any means, but when you're up on stage defending yourself against the tabloids saying that you are, well that's a horse of a different color. I saw the photo in question, not that big a deal, seriously. Besides, what kind of fucked up competition aims to narrow down thousands of contestants to the sexual equivalent a "Supreme Being" and prohibit nudity? I say it should be a requirement. If this woman is going to represent California I want to be able to draw her tits from memory.

*Disclaimer - unless the women look like Rosie O'Donnell