Because I said so...

My time growing up was spent the way I think everyone should spend their time growing up. I was more often than not found doing one, or more, of five things: eating, sleeping, playing, reading, or asking questions.

I can't imagine why a kid would really need to do a whole lot much else than those things. Healthy mind and body, right there. Eat, but not too much. Sleep, but not too little. Play, but do it safely. Read everything you can get your hands on. And never stop asking questions; about everything. This simple formula promotes intelligent, healthy, well rounded, individuals. Just like we all strive to convince ourselves we are. Though in our later years, too many of these things go neglected.

At just 25, I eat too much and sleep far too little, in erratic intervals. I don't play anymore, I work. Or on frequent occasion, in what may be described as either a desperate attempt to cram as much fun into a short amount of time as possible or an attempt to drown the imbalance of the other four neglected aspects of my childhood in copious amounts of alcoholic beverages, I "party". I read, quite a bit by most people's standards, but not everything and not enough by mine. I do however continue to ask questions, though as my questions get more complex and philosophical, I'm more frequently disappointed with the answer.

My best friend once said that children are the most intelligent people on the planet; because they learn at such an alarming rate that their parents are often fraught with grief over their efforts to keep ahead of them and they ask that simple one word question with complete honesty, "why?" "Why is the sky blue?" "Why did do I have to wear clothes?" "Why did grandpa have to die?" "Why did the chicken cross the road?" These questions are also peppered with the other four "W" questions, who, what, when, and where. But why is often the most important. The why gives something meaning, gives it a purpose. "What is that?" "It's a giraffe." "Why does it have such a long neck?" That's what everyone wants to know about a giraffe, right? It also has seven vertebrae in its neck and a black tongue, but why?

Having had a fairly significant role in the upbringing of my two younger brothers and being unwaveringly curious myself, I can understand the annoyance of being asked, "Why…?" dozens of times a day. Children have the attention span of a gold fish and are psychologically hard wired to seek instant gratification in all pursuits, so they don’t pull any punches in their quest for understanding.

Unfortunately as we grow up we're discouraged, through various methods, for some reason from asking questions or we're told to go find the information ourselves, which I'm a huge supporter of, but without being taught the methods of research most people get frustrated and just stop looking for the answers. Or, what I've found to often be the case, people seek to understand the world as they experience it and stop seeking new information. I'm an American, why would I have any reason at all to learn another language? Why would I want to know anything about the complicated and violent nature of relationships between countries in the Middle East if I had no expectation of going there? Those are fair questions I guess. I already speak my native tongue and, until I joined the military, the goings on in the Middle East were not on my list of interests. To be clear though, I do not condone this attitude.

The problem with all of this is that it's never been self serving to focus on ones day to day life as a basis for learning. Without asking questions and actively seeking the answers, life muddles on in stasis. Things don't get better, technology doesn't advance, and successive generations are no greater than the last. That is the general idea of being a parent, a teacher, or a mentor, isn't it, to advance the skills and knowledge of those in your charge and enable them to expand their possibilities?

Enter, "because I said so." I would like to believe that it was because I asked a question with an answer that my mother thought I was too young to understand. However, I find it more likely that it's because she didn't know the answer or because she did it out of reflex thinking that would shut me up. Not because my mother isn't intelligent, far from it, but because either A, it's a question about something that I'm supposed to be doing or should have had done that I wasn't doing or didn't do. B, it was honestly for my own good, not playing in the alleys of Imperial Beach after dark for example shouldn't be up for debate when you're 12. Or C, it's a leadership issue. You can't ask why a lot in leadership scenarios, often there just isn't time. Can you imagine the danger of stopping the heat of battle to ask your captain why you should be doing something he's ordered you to do? Or why you're being fired at in the first place. You're almost certain to have a swift, albeit tragic, resolution to all of your unanswered questions.

However, "because I said so" is often implied or assumed, neither of which serve a great deal of purpose outside of a combat situation. Asking why tactfully and at an appropriate time is always a good idea. It affords you the opportunity to further your understanding on the subject; it provides an opportunity for the person being asked to reflect on the issue, and it allows the issue to be reviewed and improved if required.

The worst reason for doing anything is, "that's the way it's always been done". Doing something some way because that's the way it was done when you got there is detrimental. I'm not saying you should employ a third party agency to come in and evaluate the things you do. But certainly you could take a moment to think about the reasons you do something when you find yourself doing it. Ask yourself, "Why do we do this?" "Can we save time and money doing it differently?" "Does it even make sense?"

When someone asks you why something is done the way it is done or why the sky is blue or whatever, answer the question. If you don't know the answer, find the answer and let them know when you do. Or even better still; take them with you to look up the answer. What better way to teach the importance of continuous learning than taking them along for the ride?

When doing the same monotonous tasks day in and day out at work, ask why you have to do them the way you do. By doing so you will reinforce the importance of what it is you're doing, you will force yourself to evaluate the methods you use, and you will give yourself the opportunity to think of improvements on the current system. If you are the person that put those systems in to motion in the first place, be receptive of the opinions from a fresh set of eyes. Though we would all like to think so, there is no way of knowing if our way of doing things is the absolute best. Revisit current methods from time to time as well, the way you do things now may work just fine, but that's not to say that there isn't a better way.

A wise man once said,

"To expand your mind is to expand your possibilities." I don't know where the guy got it from. I'm pretty sure he got it from somewhere because a quick Google search will bring up the exact phrase all over the place. But it's pure wisdom none the less.