Comfort Rating Zero

Any of you that have worn any type of uniform know well enough that aside from looking sharp and identifying you as being a part of a particular organization they are inherently uncomfortable. It seems to be part of the design process. "Yea, man, it looks good. But it's way too comfortable. We're going to have to tighten up the pants in awkward places and add some shirt stays." What? What's that you say? You've never heard of shirt stays? You poor deprived soul. Shirt stays are as uncomfortable as bow ties are ridiculous. They are elastic bands that attach to the hem of your shirt and either loop around your feet or clip on to the tops of your socks. They have little metal clips that let you adjust the lengh. Though it seems that no matter how tall you are, everyone has to extend them to their longest possible position. The metal clips pull the hair on your legs. This isn't all bad, after you've worn them long enough you get a sexy smooth spot from the extensive chafing action. Couple that with the fact that no matter how loosly you are able to set them, the pressure from the loops starts to tweak your feet. Then your underwear rides up because of the straps running down the outside your legs. In conclusion, my feet hurt, my thighs are balding, and I have crotchal bunching of my undergarments.